The way I see myself…
Updated: Nov 28, 2020
Once in high school, I was bullied with the words, ‘Don’t play in dark, or else you’ll get invisible’. Sadly, those words were by a guy I had a crush on but weirdly they mattered only for a day or so. Having darker skin is considered to be a big disadvantage in India. This fact has bothered many girls for ages and has also created challenges in their growth. But it isn’t only about the skin tone; it’s also about our height, smile, figure, and whatnot.
I was a little girl when I and my brother compared our skin tones and he teased me by connecting my gender to the darker shade. Luckily, one day my mother overheard the conversation and told us the story about Bollywood actresses like Kajol and inspiring women like Kalpana Chawala, who made a mark in history while being a dark-skinned Indian girl. Its people like my mom truly sensitized me to this topic and made me understand that skin-tone wasn’t a barrier.
But society always reminded me otherwise! In class 5th, I met an accident and lost half of my front tooth, leaving behind a crooked smile. The weirdest part is that the pain didn’t stay but the embarrassment did. It took me 12 years to get a complete smile again, just to notice that nobody even noticed the broken tooth before. It was a big dark cloud in my head that didn’t let me smile on camera, not the people behind the lens. Isn’t it ironic that my smile made me nervous but others happy!
What’s the worst that you face; Body shape, hair color, or imperfect jawline? Something or the other about our self always seems to be a flaw to us, whereas others view it as perfection. Give them a chance to see that perfection is coated with a sweet layer of confidence. Because, the only person who you were born with and are going to die with, is you, and it would be a real shame to not appreciate you!
I learned this the hard way when I was 16 years old, I was an unattractive teenager who only focused on studies and had very few friends. I was sure then that no guy in class even knew my name (Btw, turned out to be totally untrue!). But as a teenager, even I wanted the spotlight and attention of the hotties, so I blamed myself, my complexion, my crooked smile, my average figure for making me unattractive. But at the same time, the most popular girl in our batch was just like me. She had a darker complexion, long black hair, and her body figure resembled mine. Even our names were similar! All the girls were either jealous of her or friends with her, I stood in the friend category. She was nice to me but I had a lot of envy, so one day, I caused a scene and smartly blamed it on her. She was in trouble and for a second I felt good but for the rest of the minute, I was filled with guilt. That is when I realized that she did nothing wrong and was unattractive to me, the only thing that made her attractive was her confidence in herself and the way she held her face high. I did what was right and learned my lesson. I am in the friend zone to date! ;)
What if you were a tall white girl with perfectly straight hair and blue eyes, rosy cheeks, and bottle figure? Would you be much happier? Well, we all have seen people with those appearances, unhappy with their life. Today, I am content with my beauty and wear my flaws like a charm. Still, sometimes I end up doubting my dark circles or pimples for everything going wrong in my life. That’s when we need a reminder that it is all about the way I see myself!